The biggest question that has plagued the thoughts of many single moms is, why God? The circumstances we face as single moms often lead to questions that only God can answer.
We ponder if God cares enough about us and the pain of abandonment we feel. It can even be hard to put into words the trials we face and how to overcome them.
The why’s are surrounded by a myriad of other questions. What did I do to deserve this? Was I not worthy enough the have my children grow up within a two-parent household? When will the pains of abandonment cease? Why me?
Why God?
A question that there is not a definitive answer for. Life has a way of not playing favorites. We can only control but so much within our lives. If a person wants to walk out of our life and recklessly toss away their responsibilities as a father, what can we do?
Looking for the answers in God may be a double-edged sword. When the dialog is open between oneself and God, He can reveal things that you were not expecting.
Many people want to put God on trial and have Him answer to us humans and explain why or why not He allowed certain events to take place in our lives. The harsh answer and huge bitter pill to swallow is that God does not owe us an answer.
We must be able to find contentment in the things He does reveal to us. We all will face unpleasant circumstances in our life. Life is not a buffet where we can only choose to have the good and leave the bad.
Why the Pains of Abandonment?
These pains run deep and if not resolved they will taint every relationship you are involved in. I can not stress enough the importance of obtaining healing from this kind of pain. If you need to seek out therapy, do it. If you need to take time to pray and fast through the hurt, take the time.
Burying feelings alive will NOT kill them.
They will gain roots and become stronger and effectively harder to rid yourself from.
Some women think they can avoid those pains by placing the “band-aid” of a new relationship over the hurt. Only to still be “bleeding” and wondering why God?
We must be willing to do the work to overcome the traumas and pain we have felt in the past to have a healthier future, not just for us but, for our children as well.
Why Me God?
For some single moms the life of single motherhood seems personal and very lonely. If you have not walked in the shoes of a single parent, it may be hard to truly comprehend our plight.
One thing a two-parent house hold will never understand is as a single mom the ENTIRE household rest upon her shoulders.
We DO NOT get the luxury to say “Honey, I have a headache, can you cook dinner and help the kids with their homework while I head to bed early?”
You are all you have.
There are no days off when we are sick or just down right exhausted. If there is only $50 left in our bank account and a bill is coming due but, at the same time our children need new shoes or an unexpected car repair pops up, what then? We MUST figure out a way. There is no resting on a spouse.
We may ask why me God? The only answer is that He knows we were able to handle the burdens that accompany single motherhood.
When being a single mom is all that you know, you are able to function in a capacity that most would fail and buckle under the pressure. We can’t spend our time in constant quandary about why God permitted this or that.
We can choose to live a life that will foster stronger bonds with our children and a deeper relationship with God.